Sports Then and Now

LSU topped Alabama in week 10, as No. 1 faced No. 2

Who knew such an exciting football game could be so boring? When Alabama hosted LSU last Saturday, not one touchdown was scored.  You call that a football game?

It was like watching soccer for the Big Zzzzzz…oops, dozed off again.  Just remembering how Zultan tried to stay awake until the last of five “field goals” spiraled through the uprights —whew, a real defensive struggle.

If only Alabama had won the coin toss—now that would have been exciting!

Still Zultan missed the final score and went down to defeat, along with many of you.  And now I hear pundits demanding to see the game again at the end of the season—as in Alabama vs. LSU, Part 2, the BCS Championship Game…

Pah-leeze!  Once is quite enough, thank you very much.

The big shocker of the day was one nobody saw coming—the Northwestern Wildcats defeating the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln. Who knew?  Certainly no one on this planet.

The only Big Red stampede came at the end of the game when Cornhusker fans stormed the exits. They were not humming “Whatever Bo-Pa Wants,” either as they fumed out with little puffs of smoke coming out of their ears.

When the dust settled over Lincoln Land, there were nine who guessed better than Zultan in week ten. Zultan posted an 8-2 record, missing on LSU and Northwestern. This week, however, looks like a supreme test despite the fact that Zultan has received his new crystal ball via the OverLook Brothers.

Click here to make your picks and see if this is finally the week you reign supreme over the the all-seeing seer by outguessing him on the selected games listed below.  Not much time is left in the regular 2011 season, so join in the fun today.  Zultan will feature you in his next column if you surpass him in picks.

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Iowa Wins at Home

The planets aligned almost perfectly for the Mighty Zultan this past week as the all-seeing seer did his best prognosticating so far in the 2011 season.

Going eight for ten, Zultan was bested by only six who had astrological influences that outweighed Big Z’s crystal ball.

Zultan is pleased to report that Mom is out of the “Home” and back on the front porch after Iowa took care of the always dangerous Northwestern foes. This week Mom is serving hot Hoosier ham, in honor of the Big Game in Iowa City.

It seems that “travel” in the Big Ten is recommended in Week 8 for most teams. Zultan also sees an abundance of Fat Cats skirting the gridirons, waiting for a chance to pounce.

Those who surpassed Zultan in week seven will be listed at the end of the article where the all-seeing seer will sing their praises. If you wish to test your prognosticating skills against the mighty Zultan as we head into college football’s week eight, click here to make your selections. See if you can scale the heights and outguess the Big Z who sees “all” with the aid of his trusty crystal ball.

Game 1: Big Ten Indiana Hoosiers (1-6, 0-3) at Iowa Hawkeyes (4-2, 1-1)

Because Iowa was able to get the “Wildcats” off  their backs, the Hawkeyes will be ready to hunker down and send the Hoosiers home, feeling a bit used and unsettled.  The next few games look very manageable for the high flying Hawks. New Hoosier Head Coach Kevin Wilson will learn that life in the Big Ten can be very cruel and unforgiving.

Pick Iowa at home.

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Penn State won in Week 6.

Zultan is sad to report that after the Iowa Hawkeyes self-destructed in Happy Valley on Saturday, Mom had to be carted off the premises by the guys in the white coats.

Now in rehab, Mom sings the Iowa Fight song from sun up to dusk.  The only thing that can possibly restore her sanity is a win this week over the ever-ruinous Northwestern Wildcats.
After all, Zultan needs Mom to cook his meals.  Come on black birds—win one for the old lady!

The All-Seeing Seer is also forced to report that the “Show-Me” state showed little in the way of winning last Saturday as Missouri failed to upend the Kansas State Wildcats in a Big Z upset. Okay Bill Snyder, you “showed” up the mighty Zultan in Week No. 6.

The ultimate lesson came from Northwestern and their newly refurbished quarterback who showed all the right signs to upset the Michigan Wolverines making their first road trip—but sadly, Persa failed to deliver and Zultan was saddled with three—count them, three losses.

Still – it was better than four from the previous week.  The dozens of you who outguessed the mighty Zultan will be applauded at the end of this article and given your due respect by the All-Seeing magnanimous one.

It is now time to turn our focus to the crystal ball and week seven.  At the conclusion of this weekend of action, the BCS will unload their ranking for the first time this season.  We are already halfway through the 2011 season.

Click here to enter your picks for this week’s slate of ten games and see if you can surpass the mighty Zultan this week. Zultan feels mighty lucky but that could be from a lack of Mom’s Goodwill brownies.

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Iowa State self destructed last week.

It was an agonizing week for the all-seeing seer as four of his ten picks went South on October 1.

In retrospect, Zultan offers these occult words of wisdom to the Iowa State Cyclones, “In the future, if you are going to shoot yourself in the foot, do not use a sub machine gun.”

Prior to the Texas vs. Iowa State debacle, Arkansas came back to thwart Texas A & M as the Aggies failed by five points. Zultan could not believe his eyes as he watched A&M’s second collapse in a row. Someone must tell the Aggies that the game lasts 60 minutes, not 45.

Even playing in Columbus, Ohio State could only hold on, losing by three. It could have been even uglier. But MSU quarterback Kirk Cousins spared the Buckeyes abject humiliation by doing his own Spartan version of self-destruction in key moments.

Zultan blames his cloudy crystal ball which continues to conjure up  images from 2010.

But the pigskin prognosticator’s biggest miss was Clemson who stomped on Virginia Tech 23-3 without mercy. This Tiger is all business and will claim the ACC in 2011.  Zultan made a note to himself—C Rules in ACC.

What is more—to heap on massive degradation— almost three score of you recorded better results that the Mighty One. Zultan has barricaded himself in Mom’s garage, pouting and throwing rocks at a poster of Paul Rhoads.  Where was the triple overtime win when you really needed it, Coach?

Those surpassing the great one will be listed at the end of this article along with appropriate, if begrudging accolades.

Next up for the all-seeing seer—Week 2 in the Big Ten, Week 6 overall in the college football season.

Zultan offers you another week of difficult picks daring you to try to outguess him again.  If you feel lucky, or even if you don’t, click here to make your picks and see if you can surpass the big Z this coming Saturday.

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October 1, 2011

Headline: The mighty Zultan finally escaped captivity just in time to forecast the results of the first Big Ten conference games of the 2011 season.

The all-seeing seer was being held against his will in a cornfield outside of Lincoln where the gridiron guru was forced to time Taylor Martinez trying to out zigzag Jared Crick down 500 rows of corn…brutal stuff.

Eventually, however, without ever giving in to the Cornhusker demand to be picked as the winner in their opener over Wisconsin, the mighty Zultan vamoosed down Interstate 80, the most boring stretch of road in existence linking many Legends and Leaders alike.

Back in Mom’s garage, the most proficient football prognosticator plugged in at long last, ready to surge ahead picking winners as conference rivalries simmered, ready to boil.

But something was terribly wrong, the all-seeing one noted as his turban burst into flames.

After the pain subsided from short circuiting during his initial trace, Zultan realized that all hades had broken loose in his absence as football teams abandoned traditional conference alliances to bolt to other, greener conference pastures half a continent away.

The shifting landscape pulled all the wires loose—so much for geographical proximity and cultural similarities.

As Zultan predicts winners of college football contests this Saturday, you need to be aware that the economy has stricken the prognosticator, leaving him poverty stricken. There will be no prizes for this contest, just the satisfaction of besting the mighty Zultan.

So do you feel lucky?  If so, click here, and enter the contest for this week.  If you do better than Zultan, I will list your name in the next contest.

Be brave—what have you got to lose?

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