Sports Then and Now

Frustrated by her lack of television exposure, Kim Kardashian tries to take matters into her own hands.

With the Super Bowl now only a few hours away, here are some predictions about what we may see tonight. Hey, just remember, it is the Super Bowl, so anything can happen:

Fight for the Spotlight: Frustrated that Archie and Eli Manning have received more television air time than her, Kim Kardashian storms into their suite in the third period and starts swinging her purse at the shocked Mannings. Channeling years of frustration for always being the one being hit, Eli takes her down in a battle that is more captivating than the game.

Senior Moment: Roger Daltrey and Peter Townshend start playing “Who Are You” during their halftime concert and then can’t remember who they are and begin playing “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones.

Clearing the Set: With NFL Network analysts seemingly dropping like flies due to allegations of domestic violence and rape, the NFL Network just gives up and decides to clear their set of all former players and coaches. This leaves host Rich Eisen sitting alone at the Super Bowl for four hours rambling on about whatever topic he can think of, including a 20 minute dissertation about the greatness of nachos. After the program, Eisen is seen in front of the ESPN truck clicking his heals and repeatedly saying “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.” Read the rest of this entry →