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Mighty Zultan Denounces Big Ten Expansion; Reviews Bowl Picks 1

Posted on December 18, 2009 by JA Allen

Why, you ask, would Zultan object to adding another team to the Big Ten? Well, as the self-appointed prognosticator for the Big Ten Conference, there is his reputation to consider.

Obviously, it has been a constant source of embarrassment to the sagacious seer that the Big Ten already has 11 teams.

When the Big Eight Conference realigned, it became the Big 12. Why isn’t the Big Ten known as the Big 11? This weighs heavily upon the great one’s already overtaxed mind. Was it simply that odd numbers are bad luck? Was it to skimp on making new signage?

How does it look for a conference that prides itself on its academic standards and its ethics to promulgate such an obvious misstatement—to have 11 teams, yet only acknowledge 10?

That is like hiding one of your children in the attic. For years, of course, it was Northwestern shivering up there.

But the Wildcats are no longer the odd man out. This year the name of the shunned team is debatable. Zultan, however, believes that Big Blue is being cloistered from view. Read the rest of this entry →

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